Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Speaker A: This is always be a big deal podcast.
And now, please welcome your host, Clay Phoenix, and Jessica Vendetta.
Why? What's going on? Why don't you feel like a big deal?
[00:00:48] Speaker B: I don't know, I just feel blah.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: Oh, I completely get that. I've been feeling that as well. It's like.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: Really?
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, I've been sleeping a lot, like, to the point where, like, David's concerned.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I think your issue is your job.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: My job?
[00:01:08] Speaker B: Well. Cause it's so inconsistent, your schedule.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see that. Cause I started.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: I mean, there might be other stuff too, but.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I started to go back to the whole second shift, like, so I'm on a steady shift now. I'm not flipping back and forth between thirds and seconds so much anymore, but I still can see that. It's like I took a nap earlier and now I want to take another nap. It's like I'm constantly wanting to sleep.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: So a part of me thought it was because of my meds, so I have a doctor's appointment to talk to my doctor about my meds to see if that's what it is. But, yeah, I've been kind of blah myself.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: I'm sorry. But, yeah, I actually, I went to the doctor on Monday and she added something to mine, but I'm also on ADHD meds, and yesterday, and she's gonna increase it soon, but she can't. She didn't want to do two increases, two different meds at once. But yesterday, and I'm not even kidding, like, I accidentally took two of my ADH meds and it was like the best day ever. So I'm like, is that part of the problem? Just on way too low of a dose?
[00:02:18] Speaker A: That's what I was thinking, too, because I'm also on an ADHD med, and they started me at a low dose because of the fact that it's a different medication.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Right.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: So trying to figure that out and adding that to the cocktail, I don't know if it's that because I'm out of it right now. Like, they only gave me. It's for so long. And then I have another doctor's appointment to kind of, like, talk about, like, how I felt on it and stuff.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Oh, that might be part of your problem than if you even had meds.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it probably is.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: It really does affect you.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it really does.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: Like, but I don't have. But I don't take it. Or when it wears off, I completely crash. I just want to sleep.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's what I'm feeling right now. Like I'm trying to go and I'm the hamster on the wheel, but the wheel is still moving and I'm just on the wheel rolling around.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Right? I know exactly what you mean.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So, I mean, it'll get better.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I know it will.
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This is always be a big deal podcast with Clay Phoenix and Jessica Vendetta.
We've had some crazy, crazy drama going on at the house. Would you like to hear all about it?
[00:04:37] Speaker B: Yes, I would. I want to know what homophobe is bothering you so I can go kill them.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: Do you remember when we were recording a few weeks ago and said person knocked on the door and scared the crap out of. Absolutely.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Yes, I do remember that. The crazy lady upstairs.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: Yes. So yesterday or day before, we got a letter in the mail that was saying that we were being loud and we were making noise between 10:00 p.m. and 08:00 a.m. which is absolutely absurd because between 10:00 p.m. and 06:00 a.m. we have a child that's sleeping and my fat ass does not get out of bed until 10:00 in the morning.
So there is no way that we are making any noise between those hours. David went over to the leasing office and had a conversation and asked them, like, you know, where is this coming from? Da da da da. Because these are the issues that we've been having with someone upstairs. Last night I heard noise and I opened up the door and our wreath and our mat are thrown down the steps.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: Oh my God.
What is wrong with her?
[00:05:58] Speaker A: I march my happy ass right upstairs and I knock on the door.
[00:06:01] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: Well, she doesn't want to answer it, so I come back down to my house. And I'm trying to be calm, cool and collective. Clay. Cause you know me, I was raised in Delta, Pennsylvania. That is like mini Baltimore. So I can get hype real quick.
So this morning, I'm laying on the couch, being lazy, watching myself some daytime talk shows.
To be specific, it was Kelly. And you don't mess with me and my Kelly.
David comes in from smoking. We hear on our door.
So I opened the door, and here comes David right next to me. There's eggs everywhere.
So David went right past me, saw the person walking up the steps. Walked up the steps, and was like, what's your problem?
[00:06:57] Speaker B: Was it that lady?
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Like, what is your problem? It was that lady went into apartment J. I'm just gonna put her all fucking government out here.
Cassandra?
[00:07:10] Speaker B: Is that her name?
[00:07:13] Speaker A: I don't know what her name is.
[00:07:14] Speaker B: Okay. But I like Cassandra.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: Sounds good to me.
[00:07:17] Speaker B: That sounds like a rude name.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Oh, my God. That's actually her name.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: What?
[00:07:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I was just making that up. That's actually her name.
David has it for the peace order.
And she is 64 years old, girl. 64 years old.
[00:07:39] Speaker B: That's why she's mad. Cause she can't get Medicare yet and.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Oh.
Oh, my God, David. Jessica said she's mad because she can't get Medicare yet.
And, you know, eggs. You know when you throw eggs at things, it ruins shit.
[00:07:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: And at this point, I'm to the point where I'm so frustrated, and I'm trying to hold all this anger inside.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: It's very, like, overwhelming. And I just want to cry, but I also want to scream and claw somebody's eyes out.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Cause it's like, what's her issue? Like.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Well, and it's just because I'm very protective.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: Oh, trust me. I know.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: This is Alyssa's safe space. And she's already scared to sit at the dining room table. Cause she beat on the door like she was the goddamn police the last time.
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: This time she throws eggs at the door. Now, thank God our daughter wasn't here, or she probably would be petrified to come back over here.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: Cause she still asks us all the time if somebody's gonna knock on the door again.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: Oh, baby. That makes me sad.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's just. It's horrible that, you know, we have to deal with this, and we have no clue what we did. And we don't hear anybody else in this building. Nobody except for her up there with her Clydesdale, marching through the damn house like she's at the Kentucky Derby.
She probably got a little stick pony that she's riding around on. Yee haw. Come on. Come on, Lassie. Let's get it.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: Or her broomstick. She's a witch, and not a good one.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just. Oh, it's just too much. Like.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: So what happened? When David confronted her this morning?
[00:09:27] Speaker A: She just kept walking. She kept walking into her house.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: And David's like, call the police. I was like, okay. So I called them.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: Good.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: And they came out, and they suggested that we get a peace order because there's steps that, yeah, they have to take as law enforcement.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: The lady from the leasing office came over. She took pictures. We cleaned it up the best we could, but obviously, there's still streak marks down the door. And there's like.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: Yeah, it's no joke. Trying to get that cleaned up.
[00:09:57] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Like, it's, like, crusty. And so, like, we already talked to the leasing office. They said that we would not be responsible for paying that damage because we did not cause that. Yeah, but it's, like, mind boggling that you are 64 years old, Cassandra, and you want to be throwing eggs and not even. Not even Eggland's best bitch. She was throwing brown eggs as she bought at the local fucking amish market.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: Not the brownie.
[00:10:30] Speaker A: I know that the level.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: Look at the brand. Like, show some respect.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: I know. Show some respect to those chickens. Don't be throwing their brown eggs.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Does she know who she's dealing with?
Like, for real? That's. I'm, like, mind blown. Like, this almost doesn't sound real. Only because, like, you guys did nothing. You guys have never gotten in a confrontation or anything, right?
[00:10:56] Speaker A: No.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: Didn't you just, like, kind of start taking stuff your decorations down off your door and get mad at them?
[00:11:02] Speaker A: It started with. We had an Easter bunny at the. So there's, like, an our door. There's a little piece of wall, and then there's Devin's door. Devin's our next door neighbor. He's real cool, real chill. You never hear him. You never see him, you know?
[00:11:18] Speaker B: Right.
[00:11:18] Speaker A: So, like, we had a little decoration there. It was, like, kicked over, and they threw sunglasses at the door, and the wreath was knocked off the door, and it just kept getting worse from there. And then now you're throwing eggs. Like, she can hear me talking right now. She knows. She's on the podcast.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: Oh, good.
Oh, good.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: You can stream it anywhere that you get your podcast, girl.
Like, just the level.
David wanted me to let you know that he did send you some pictures to give you some clarifications to your messenger.
[00:11:58] Speaker B: Oh, I have my phone on the disturb. Okay. Gotcha.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: Yeah. So this has been our life. Our crazy, crazy life.
Crazy insanity.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: And then doesn't even have the nerve to use egglands best. Like, come on, bitch. What 64 year old throws eggs?
[00:12:19] Speaker A: Yeah. Inside of a building at, mind you, Zachary.
[00:12:23] Speaker B: Yeah, like I would. You do. That's the only thing you had in your fridge. What a mess.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: It's just the level. The level of disrespect. So I understand that I do not deserve to have respect because they may feel that I'm younger than them, or so on and so forth. However, as a human being, there's nothing.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: To do with it. Respect has nothing to do with age.
[00:12:48] Speaker A: I know, but as a decent human being, you should kindly approach somebody if you have an issue with them, which I have no clue what the fucking issue is. Maybe she hears me talking shit all the time on the podcast and she's like, oh, yeah, I want to get them back, but, you know, haters make us famous.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Okay. She's the one that started it.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: I mean, that's very juvenile. She's the one that started it. Come on, Jessica.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: No, no, no, that's not what I mean. I mean, like, she's the one that started the drama with you. It's not like you just started talking about your neighbor one day.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: You know what I mean. I don't mean like she started. You gotta get her back. I'm just saying that, like, what do you expect? Like, when you do something bad, you should expect it to be on a podcast.
[00:13:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Or at least somewhere. I mean, police blotter, something.
[00:13:39] Speaker B: I mean, that's the new norm.
Yeah, like, don't be. Don't ever let me ever see her.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just because I don't live.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: There and I'll cause a problem.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Oh, I don't care.
[00:13:53] Speaker B: I don't care how old she is.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: It's already a problem.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: No, what I'm saying, you guys have to be a little more careful because you live there. I do not. What, am I coming over?
[00:14:04] Speaker A: Oh, I don't have to be careful with shit. Once you take it to eggs on my door and you scare my child, then, no, there is no more taking it calmly.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: So you guys have her last name now, right?
[00:14:17] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we got our full. We have her full government.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: You guys should case search her. Do you know how to do that?
[00:14:22] Speaker A: No, I do not.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: I'm just wondering if she's ever done this before. I'll send you the link. It's easy to do it, but I wonder. Cause I'm just wondering, like the people before you were these brand new apartments? I don't remember.
[00:14:34] Speaker A: No, there was people that lived here before, but they. They moved in. They moved in after us.
[00:14:40] Speaker B: Well, I'm just. Wait, the people. The lady did.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: Yeah, the lady upstairs moved in after us.
[00:14:46] Speaker B: Oh, okay. But you could still like, look on key search to see if she has any other like, records.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: Okay, well, you send me that link and we will touch base with the listeners next week.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Okay, sounds good.
Yeah, it's easy to look up there. You just gotta have their first and last name, so.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Okay. This is always be a big deal podcast with Clay Phoenix and Jessica vendetta.
[00:15:16] Speaker C: I really don't know where it's gonna end.
I think one of us is gonna have to die. Now.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: You say this woman's stalking you?
[00:15:28] Speaker C: Yeah, like six months maybe.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: Why'd it take you so long to report it?
[00:15:31] Speaker C: I think she needs help. She comes to my work, my house. She sends me emails like all the time.
[00:15:36] Speaker A: Are any threatening towards you? Yeah, I wouldn't say that's particularly threatening.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: There's a reason you're keeping her around. And maybe it's what she gives you.
You've got really manly hands, haven't you? Chiseled jawline. Should we run away together?
So you're a comedian?
[00:15:56] Speaker C: Sort of.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: It's not going well.
[00:15:58] Speaker C: So is that quite question?
[00:15:59] Speaker B: Somebody hurt you, didn't they? Who was that?
[00:16:02] Speaker C: Martha, can you let go of my hand now, please? Martha, please let go.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Don't you dare.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Please welcome to the stage, Donny Don.
I'm really worried here.
[00:16:35] Speaker A: Woo.
[00:16:35] Speaker C: You can't let her affect us like this.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: It's not her affecting us, it's you.
[00:16:40] Speaker C: I miss you. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my stalker. Say hello to Mark.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: Don't you say that to me. Apologize to me right now.
[00:16:49] Speaker C: Can't take my mom anywhere.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: You shite.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: You indulge her.
[00:16:59] Speaker C: Oh, please.
[00:17:00] Speaker A: I thank you, Martha.
[00:17:08] Speaker C: Look, Martha, just go back home.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: I have a sneaky feeling you might be the death of me.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: It's always be a big deal podcast with Clay Phoenix and Jessica Vendetta.
All right, now let's transition into another crazy bitch. The bitch from baby reindeer. Uh huh.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: My favorite.
I will say the obsession has died down, so don't worry. I stopped. I stopped speaking scottish. And by the way, it was a horrible scottish accent. Most of it was in my head.
[00:17:52] Speaker A: Let me hear it.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Did you watch the. No, because it's bad.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: No, let me hear it for the listeners. Do it for the listeners.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: It's so bad.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Okay, okay, okay. How about this?
[00:18:05] Speaker B: I have to get into that mode again. Like, I had to. Like, I had to go through a little bit of therapy to get out of that mode. I'm not gonna lie to you. I think I'm obsessive.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: You can get obsessive with it. I mean, like, it's very intriguing, the story behind it, but it's also comical.
Yes, but it also.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: I want to watch it again.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: It also hit a nerve with me, and I will explain that, you know, during our discussion.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Okay. I mean, now would be a great time to discuss it.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: Okay. So it hit a nerve with me because it was very reminiscent of my relationship with my ex wife.
[00:18:40] Speaker B: Wait, what?
[00:18:42] Speaker A: Well, just the fact of, like, are you Martha? No, no, no. So the fact of the matter was, is that I felt very.
I felt bad for her. I felt very empathetic towards her.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Oh, because of your feelings.
[00:18:58] Speaker A: And it. Yeah. And it just kept.
[00:19:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: Snowballing and snowballing and snowballing until it finally turned into what it turned into.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: He's an. He's an inspiration to me, honestly. You know, doing this and telling his story.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: Yes, yes.
[00:19:14] Speaker A: And it makes me want to tell my story more, but I'm not going to do it in podcast format. I'm really going to just, you know, sell it to Netflix and make some good money.
[00:19:26] Speaker B: I mean, he was a smart man. Like, I. I think that he's went through this is just my opinion on the whole thing, but that he went through something very, very traumatic was at a very low point in his life. Probably thought he was never going to come back from it. And then all of a sudden, like, his life turned around to everything that he wanted.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: And part of that was Netflix coming to him being like, hey, do you want to do this? You know, so I'm. Anytime I see him, like, an interview, I honestly just smile. Not because he went through all of that, but because, like, I just hope that he finds peace and happiness, you know, and I cannot. I did not know that he was the one that the story was about until I think, like, the 6th episode. My coworker told me, and I was like, I looked nothing up on it. I just started watching it because you suggested it or whatever, so.
And then, like, then I was just mind blown. I was like, this guy seriously relived all of this.
[00:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:32] Speaker B: How amazing is that? Like, who? I don't know if I could do that with that stuff he went through.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: But at the same time, him reliving this and making this series really resonated with me. And if I don't think I've ever actually been open about what happened with my ex wife, but if I am 100% open with you about it and tell you all the gritty details, you're going to see the pieces where I can deeply relate to this story.
It's not so much of the fact that I'm a comedian because I'm just naturally funny.
It's the fact that, oh my God, you're a mess. It's the fact that I was manipulated and my empathy was turned against me and I was controlled with it. And there was a sense of, I had this heightened sense of success to the point where I thought it was true. And when it turned out not to be true, I fell so hard and I hit the ground so hard that I could not get back up and start running again. It took me therapy, and it took me a lot of practicing self growth and self awareness to get back to where I am today. And the reason why I do this podcast is a lot of that, because one of these days we're going to talk about something that's going to resonate with somebody and it's going to help them through a tough time.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:06] Speaker A: Like I was going through, I became an alcoholic. I was drinking nonstop. I was so depressed that I would sleep all day long. I did not have a job for almost a year. I was living at my parents house.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: I went through it and like, the thing, the only thing from the series that I did not, I wanted to see a little bit more of was the aftermath. Like how he felt after all of this when it ended.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Like just the mental struggle that you go through. Like, you start to say, like, am I good enough? Am I strong enough? Did I do this? Did I cause this? Did I do something to cause this? And at the end of the day, I'm really trying hard not to cry here, by the way.
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Oh, don't cry, baby.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: At the end of the day, it makes you appreciate the things that you have worked towards and you do have in your life now because you've went through something that nobody else is going to be able to say they went through. It's very unique situation.
Everybody has unique situations, but this is very specific to a unique toy and play on your mental health that I probably just started getting to the point where I've moved on from everything it's been. Honestly, it's 2018. It happened. So that's how long it's been.
[00:23:42] Speaker B: Wow. You want to know what's kind of crazy? That really wasn't that long ago, if you think about it.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: It wasn't. It wasn't that long ago to see.
[00:23:50] Speaker B: Where you are now. That was six years ago. That is not that long ago.
[00:23:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: So you should be very proud of everything that you've done and accomplished. And I don't know the story, obviously, but the person you are today, I absolutely love and adore. As you know, if you won't date me because you're. You pretend you're gay, but, you know, that's fine. But I'm just kidding. But no, but seriously, like, you are such, like, a good person. Like, I know that you're always gonna be 100% real with me. I never, ever, ever question our friendship, ever. And I can't say that about everybody. And I appreciate you, honestly.
[00:24:32] Speaker A: That's something I learned through all of this.
[00:24:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: Was the not hiding who I was, not hiding the truth.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: You don't. Yeah.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: And with, like, David and I's relationship, we are a lot stronger now because I allowed myself to start trusting him, and that is something that I told myself I would never do again after that.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: Really?
[00:24:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:59] Speaker B: That is a rough promise to make yourself.
Wow. That actually makes a lot of sense now because I do feel like you both are stronger.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:25:09] Speaker B: I mean, just from what I know and see, you know, so not. I'm not trying to bring all that stuff up, but I'm just saying that, like, I definitely see a difference.
[00:25:18] Speaker A: Well, in all honesty, though, like, I wasn't honest with him about the things that I went through, so he was trying to deal with things that he was going through, but didn't realize that I was dealing with my own stuff. And so once I was honest with him about it, that's when it started to get better. We can be very open and honest with each other now, and I've given him trust, so that makes it easier for him and I to joke around like we did in the beginning and not have all of that mental strain inside of it. He's become good. He's become my best friend. Like, I want to talk to him all the time. I want to tell him everything. I'm excited to share things with him, and, yes, I never.
[00:26:04] Speaker B: I know he does the same.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And I never understood that concept before, so.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: So genuinely, I. I can relate a little bit.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I feel like this.
I don't feel like this is I know that this is the first time that I've ever actually been in love with somebody.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, I love that.
That's so cute.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: Let's stay on baby reindeer.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: We are.
We just took a little sidetrack. We went to baby David.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: Well, it just. It just really, like, resonated with me when I was watching. Like, it was hard for me to watch at a certain point because, like, I stopped it and, like, when outside for a minute, and I was like, oh, like, this is crazy. And, like, mind you, I'm watching this series overnight while my husband and kid are asleep, because I can't sleep because that's just the world that I was. I'm living in right now with the ups and downs. And so I'm laying on the couch watching this show, and I literally had to go out and listen to the crickets chirp for a second and kind of, like, wind down and relax. It was kind of hard to watch at a certain point.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that may. Yeah. Cause, see, when I watched it, of course, I didn't have those films. I just was, like, mind blown that this man had to deal with this, you know, and then, poor you was being triggered by it. It's just. Just funny how, like, you can watch things and have different feelings, you know, from different people.
[00:27:42] Speaker A: Yeah. And also, at the same time, like, I really appreciate the fact that he told a story of a man being harassed, because.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: Yes. So often it doesn't happen enough.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it doesn't happen enough.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: It doesn't. It's, like, frown upon men.
[00:28:00] Speaker A: Can't speak and tell their story or, like, show emotion.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: No, no, no. Like, look how the police treated him.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's. It's draining.
[00:28:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. I feel like that was a woman. I feel like it would have been different.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: If it was, like, with the police, you know? Like, I feel like. Cause he was a man. I don't know. I just think that's, like, just in our world. Why is it so, like, that? Like, that's just not okay.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: I kind of disagree with the whole thing. If it was a woman, it would be different. I think it would actually play out very similar if it was a woman.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: Do you really?
[00:28:37] Speaker A: Just because men are very.
If they got a female cop, then, yes, it would be different. It would play out differently. But if it was a male cop, it would still play out very similar to the way that this story played out, because men are very hard headed, and when they're presented with information, they don't want to believe it, even if you are a cop, like, you don't want to believe it at first, so you have to have all these different levels of proving the facts before they'll actually start doing something about it. And he had no facts.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: If it was reversed and it was the woman and the man, it would have been the same way. Now, the way that she was talking to him, if it was a man talking to a woman that way, then, yes, it would be looked at differently. Yeah, but the actual harassment part of if a woman was stalking a man, that would be completely different. Like, I don't think the cops would pay attention to it, just like they didn't in this.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, think about it, too. Like, if that was a woman bartender and a man was coming in consistently like she was, I feel like he. He would have been kicked out a long time ago.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: Oh, facts.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: Now, I don't know how true everything was, but, like, they. The. His co workers, his boss. I'm not sure exactly who this. I'll be honest with you, but because they just kept showing that I never knew their roles. Like, the other people that work there, they just made jokes of it.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:06] Speaker B: It's creepy that some woman is coming into this bar, sitting there all day long. Now, whether or not that part was complete, if everything was completely true, I'm not sure. But if that was true, like, that's red flag, baby. Like, help, like, your help, your coworker. Like, where's the support? Male, female, whatever. Like, that's crazy.
[00:30:28] Speaker A: I mean, I think most of it was true. Like, we've kind of heard her tell her story during the Piers Morgan interview. We've heard him tell his story during this, uh, series.
[00:30:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: So I think that you can kind of see what's true and what's not true because she reacts negatively to a lot of it. Like, she's offended by it because some of it is true.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, for sure. And what I mean is, like, I think some of it, they stretched out a little bit just for the show. Oh, yeah, that's what I mean. Like, we. I don't know exactly what. Everything's true. Like, I believe his story, do not get me wrong, but I think some of it was also a little bit dramatized for tv.
[00:31:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, definitely. And he's actually said something about that. He said that this was based off of a true story. And at the beginning, when it says, this is a true story.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:21] Speaker A: It shouldn't have said, this is a true story. It should have said, this is based off a true story.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: Yes. Yes, because I know, like, some of the names are changed, which. That doesn't matter, but that's what I'm saying. Like, I think some of it in, like, the jail, the nine months in prison, I don't think they've been able to find proof of that now. I think she's the biggest liar in the world, so I don't believe anything she says, but they can't find the proof, you know what I mean? So I'm like, why can't. You know how the media is?
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:51] Speaker B: So that's why I'm like, maybe that part.
But he never said, like, this is all 100% sure. So that's why I'm saying, like, some of it I do think is dramatized are things that he wished happened, you know, stuff like that.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. That's. That's his closure. That's his way of getting closure.
[00:32:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And, like, when he went to his abuser's house, that I. I still don't understand that. And, I mean, I don't know how I would ever get explanation on that, but, like, I don't understand why he did that. Like, did he do it for, like, the thrill? Not. Not the thrill. That's not the right word, but, like, just to see what would happen. Like, did he want to fight him? You know what I mean? Like, I'm just trying to. That's the only part that really didn't make sense to me.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: So mentally, let's put this in the concept of mentally, okay? He has been raped, harassed. He has been publicly shamed.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:32:49] Speaker A: He even mentioned that he started to question if he was gay or not.
[00:32:55] Speaker B: Right. And he didn't know if it was because of that or if he always had those feelings, like how, you know, and I told understand that. Like, he was like, why do I have these feelings?
[00:33:04] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think that he started to fall in love with that guy. The idea of the captor, you know, like, that whole mental struggle.
[00:33:12] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah.
[00:33:14] Speaker A: He went back to see if it was real.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: Okay. That's a good take on it, because.
[00:33:22] Speaker A: Even if you go through something in life, like, you kind of revisit it in your mind.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: He was making a tv show. He could have originally revisited that whole thing in his mind.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:36] Speaker A: But in the tv show, they presented it as he returned to the actual person and talked to the actual person.
[00:33:42] Speaker B: That could be too.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: Yeah, but that could have been how the conversation played out in his mind, and that gave him the closure that.
[00:33:49] Speaker B: He needed, because I was like, I thought he was going to like, beat him up or something. That's what I was waiting for. And then, like, they just had, like, a normal conversation, kind of. And I was just like. And then he left. And then. I know he cried after, but I was just, like, seriously baffled.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: But it was very reminiscent.
[00:34:06] Speaker B: I was like, why did you do that?
[00:34:08] Speaker A: Yeah, it was very reminiscent of the fact that it was, like, kind of revisiting something that you were trying to heal from.
[00:34:16] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: And that's how I had perceived it when I watched it, because I know in my own life, like, during therapy, one of the biggest things is revisiting those moments, putting yourself back in those moments, and dealing with those moments in a positive way. He dealt with that moment in his mind and worked through it in his mind, but necessarily didn't, like, go back and see the person. It was just portrayed that way in the tv show as how I had perceived it, because obviously he started to get help.
[00:34:51] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: So. And maybe that was the scene that they chose to kind of signify that he was getting help. He was back in his head.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Cause some of it. Some of it was even filmed, like, it was inside of his head. If you really watch the way that the show is filmed. And that's why, like, when she's freaking out about it, this is a work of art, honey. You know, you're freaking out about it on Piers Morgan, but you didn't even watch the series. You didn't see the lenses that they used. You didn't see how they captured the movement. You didn't see. See how it was filmed. Some of those parts were filmed with, like, a weird lighting, and it almost felt like he was reliving it in his head.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: I'm gonna rewatch it, and I'll have to look for that stuff.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Like, the part where the two parts that I can think of is the part where he was raped by the guy was very different lighting than the part where he was in the bar and he first met her.
[00:35:56] Speaker B: Okay. I didn't notice that.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: So, like, it wasn't a flashback. It wasn't a flashback thing. So I think that if the way that they filmed it, they kind of put that artistic edge on it is this is what he's thinking in his mind, and this is more of the truth.
[00:36:14] Speaker B: Okay. Look at you breaking it down.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: I know. Pretty smart, funny. I got the whole package, darling.
[00:36:20] Speaker B: Oh, you do, baby. That's for sure. No, I want to rewatch it anyway, so I just. I was waiting a little bit in between because I didn't want to like, I was seriously so obsessed over last week. Like, it's all I could think about. And, like, especially after I saw the interview with her, I was just like, first off, that actress that played her, she deserves lots of awards.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: Yes. Great, great acting.
[00:36:47] Speaker B: She nailed her. She never met her, but she learned about her through him.
That's the only thing I can come up with. And I know.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: And they were the same person.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: I seriously thought it was the actor on Piers Morgan at first, until, like, I saw that they looked different because I originally was just hearing it and because somebody had played it on a podcast, and I was like, oh, okay. And they sounded just alike. And I'm like, that's the same person.
[00:37:17] Speaker B: Even the pauses. Yes. It's crazy. She does, like, this weird pause thing.
[00:37:23] Speaker A: Like, she was, like, dead. Like, the actress was dead on with impersonating this character. How? I have no clue. No, she nailed it spot on.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: She really did. And I don't believe for 1 second that she did not watch it, the series.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: Oh, I don't believe that either.
[00:37:43] Speaker B: I believe she watched it three times.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: Oh, she kept watching it, and I'm.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: Sure she picked it apart.
And then why she went on that show, I have no idea. Because all it did was just confirm everything.
I mean.
[00:37:58] Speaker A: Yeah, well, she wanted. She wanted the world to be on her side, because it's very much. The world works this way. Men can't tell their story because that means that they're a pussy or less than a man. And when men tell their story about a woman, the woman then turns around and tries to make them less of a man and make them look like, oh, my gosh, I'm the damsel in distress. I'm the victim here. And that's been common back and forth of the world. Culture between men and women is men try to overpower women, and then women try to overpower men, or they try to make them feel like they're. They were victimized by a man. And some people are. I'm not distasting any victim out there. I stand by you 100%. However, at the end of the day, sometimes, in some cases, you have to allow the man to say that they are a victim. Men should be able to express their feelings and tell their story without feeling shame and without feeling like they're less of a man.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Absolutely agree.
[00:39:16] Speaker A: Just because I told my story and I cried over what happened to me, and I felt for the people that were there by my side and went through this whole entire journey with me, I still am a man. At the end of the day, and I'm still a human and I still have feelings.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: It's all of these, like, preconceived notions that to me is part of what's wrong with the world. Like, it's kind of like I shouldn't compare this, but like, the gender thing, that's like, this is why no one wants to be a gender anymore because of. I feel like there's rules if you're a man, there's rules if you're a woman. And really everyone's a person and a human and different. Our world is very different now.
[00:40:00] Speaker A: Exactly. And it's just, it goes, also goes back to the whole thing of, on that same line, it's a very valid point to make that clothes that we wear, everybody puts gender on them. And it's like, yes, pink.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: Men can't wear pink.
[00:40:15] Speaker A: Yeah, if, yeah, and if I want to wear a pump with my skirt, yes, I'll wear my pump with my skirt, girl.
[00:40:22] Speaker B: I know it shouldn't matter.
[00:40:25] Speaker A: Yeah, fashion is fashion, honey.
[00:40:27] Speaker B: Yes. And if you can, you can wear it. Wear it.
[00:40:31] Speaker A: Yeah. If you could pull it off, girl. Get it. Yes.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: And compliment each other. Like, you never know what someone's going through. So if you see a man in pumps, know that it took him probably years to come out like that. So tell them how good they look.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: The key thing that you just said is you never know what people are going through. I live by that statement every single day.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: Yes, I try to, too.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: This has been always be a big deal podcast. You can rate, review and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast. Follow us on Facebook at alwaysbeabigdeal Instagram.
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